Literally me, including the disability part.
I've been getting a bit better about it since I realised that I can't even imagine myself being intimate with someone without it being one-sided mainly because I'm just that scared of people. It's like I've been trying to prove that I'm not weak by lashing out in my fantasies, which turned me into a raptophilic weirdo in my early teens.
I'm still nowhere near the point of being dateable, but someday I might get there. And if I don't, there's always porn I guess. Can't get more one-sided than looking at pictures.
More off-topic but abuse and bullying can really mess you up. At least I've never hurt anyone, but I know a guy who was raped as a pre-teen and later raped an 8 year old when he was in his teens. As an adult he started dating someone almost 10 years younger than him and abused them too.
I wish people like that would be mindful to stay the fuck out of the dating pool until they've been to therapy, honestly.
Doesn't matter what sort of sob-story lead to their actions, they're still responsible for them.
...Now with that being said, even I'm not that into overly girly guys and dig bara too.
Being turned on by feminity isn't that unusual, so if it's just that, I think OP is probably just a normal gay/bi/straight who likes dicks.