>Be me, a Fucking Leaf,16
>be living in suburbia with White trash parents
>illegally have .22lr because uncle died and aunt is irresponsible.
>keep it loaded because if the Horsecops are gonna arrest me they might as well have a reason.
>be sleeping on couch on main floor.
>suddenly hear Urban Youths meandering outside.
>shouting and laughing. Clearly drunk.
>230 am on a goddamn tuesday.
>proceed to watch an upstanding member of the community try to sneak under the back deck, where the bicycles are stored.
>other Straight A students Cheering and laughing, clearly unnerving Melanin Snake
>go downstairs to room and grab Varmint Rifle, also grab a glass of juice.
>father now awake, joins me.
>we sit on the deck drinking juice and watching Doug Judy attempt to steal a bicycle.
>the good bikes are in the shed, deck bikes are all seized up.
> Neil Degrasse Tyson jumps on the bike once he hits the asphalt, tries to pedal.
>Falls off bike.
>RINSE AND REPEAT
>spend a good 10 minutes watching president obama fall of a bicycle.
>giggling to myself.
>Father silent, awestruck by this display of genius.
>eventually lights start turning on in the neighborhood, these guys are loud
>Jay Z puts the bike back.
>as he turns to leave i say "hello there"
> he freezes, suddenly aware of the alert phase.
>wave rifle in a non threatening manner, "thanks for bringing that back"
> R Kelly still just staring at us, dumbstruck.
>"we keep the good ones in the shed, you know"
> silently stare at Jamie Foxx for a few minutes.
> self preservation finally kicks in.
>he bolts, drops his phone.
>Father figure Laughs
>Go back to sleep.
Only sort of trouble ive ever had.
Dad gave me a lecture about not confronting criminals, and not brandishing an illegal firearm, then bought me a boston creme donut.
I shot the guys phone with my buddies nugget later on during an escapade innawoods.
God Bless The Great White North