thanks for the response. i could probably do well to act on my own impulses a bit more and pursue what interests me, instead of getting hung up on why things aren't the way i want them to be.>>5336192
to answer your question, i grew up liking animation and film, both making it and watching it. when i was a teenager i was really inspired by the impressionist movement, how artists created works that were unique to the medium of oil paintings, and tried to capture everyday life in a way photography couldn't. their lifestyles of socialising together in cafes and influencing one another creatively.
i thought that if i went to art college that i would find today's equivalent of those kinda communities. that idea was really fun and appealing to me, especially since in high school a lot of my peers would've been really dismissive of art and animation, or they would enjoy it as a consumer, but then have no respect for artists as individuals or have no interest in creating anything themselves.
i didnt really go into college with some grandiose purpose or goal in mind. really i just wanted to get involved with other people who were interested in making things. maybe that's where i went wrong tho idk. i thought that i would figure out my purpose along the way. but no its been 3 years, i have no community and i have no goal for my career because the whole industry has just become so unappealing to me over time.